M was only 7 when he held his first squash racquet.

Compared to his height, it was so long, he had to hold it all the way up the grip where it met the shaft. His swings at the ball connected but seldom sent the ball in the right direction. His face would go red with the effort. He ran valiantly after balls gently hit to him and when he connected and one finally hit the front wall, he laughed with exhilaration. However, mostly they didn’t and that first session ended in tears of frustration as he got more and more hot and bothered. It was not an auspicious beginning. It was clear that he had eye-hand coordination, but he was certainly no sporting prodigy.

Over the next five years, he continued with the sport, with some parental persuasion at the beginning. As he got better, his interest was sparked by his own improvement and by the friendships he formed with other boys his age. He learnt to physically push himself to keep up with the demands of the coach, to ignore tiredness and the heat and to chase down balls. He learnt the self-discipline of keeping an even temper on the court the hard way when he embarrassed himself before an audience by bursting into tears at losing a hard-fought match against another 9 year old. He learnt mental toughness and to never say die until the last point was played out. He earned a few minor trophies along the way but lost many more matches and in the process learnt to be a gracious winner and loser.

By the time he was twelve, he was giving his father a good run for his money on the court. However, now and then, he still had flashes of his old petulant younger self. But then, who can blame him? What man likes losing to a woman…especially if she is his mother?

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Sports, in all its forms, is a great avenue for the character building of a child. And the best part of it – it is also fun! There are not many sporting prodigies out there, but there are numerous children who can learn to develop prodigious character strengths through sports.

The physical benefits of sports and exercise are numerous – in the young, bones and muscles are strengthened, coordination is refined, the body is toned, exercise capacity is improved. Regular physical activity helps fight against obesity, halves the risk of developing Type 2 diabetes and coronary artery disease. Daily exercise in children has been shown recently in a study conducted in Leipzig to reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease in later life¹.

But beyond the physical benefits, there are multiple benefits which the child reaps, benefits which extend to the whole of his person, not just his body.

Self-esteem is an important beneficiary of sports. Research shows that sports can boost the self-esteem of those who participate in it. In children, this is particularly fostered when parents give positive feedback to the child and demonstrate a sense of pride in the achievement of the child, no matter the result. Self-esteem is a crucial factor in the life of the child, especially when he enters adolescence. High self-esteem confers a protective effect against negative peer pressure such as doing drugs or engaging in premarital sex. Studies have shown that girls who participate in sports are more likely than those who do not, of having higher self-esteem or self-worth. The Women’s Sports Foundation reports that in the US, female high school athletes are 92% less likely to get involved in drugs, 80% less likely to get pregnant and three times more likely to graduate from high school than non-athletic female students.

Leadership qualities and team spirit are fostered in the child through sports. Even in primarily individual sports like squash, tennis or swimming, teams can be formed and the child as part of that team, learns the importance of team work, support and spirit. This happens when parents and coaches commend their young athletes for unselfish play and congratulate them on their team’s efforts as well as their own. The child learns to develop character strengths here of self-assertiveness married with fairness, concern for others, responsibility through fulfilling his role in the team, and the social skills of relating and connecting with his team mates.

Sportsmanship is a mark of maturity of character and is so aptly named because it is on the playing field of sports that children learn that to compete means to win at times and to lose at others, exposing them to the realities of life in a measured way. Parents and coaches play a crucial role here in teaching the child to accept successes and failures in a positive spirit. Children can learn to be competitive and risk takers in a participative way. They can learn that they are not always going to get what they want, and that the best way to manage the frustrations of losing is by channeling them constructively so they learn from their mistakes. The child therefore can learn humility in victory, and graciousness and perseverance in defeat.

Strategizing, planning and collective thinking are skills fostered in sports. Which player to be played, where and when? Why are my shots not coming in today? What do I have to do to overcome him? What tactics do we use to overcome their greater strength? Children learn, initially through coaching, but in time, by themselves, how to analyze situations, how to maximize their strengths and to take advantage of the weaknesses of their opponents. They learn to think ahead and to focus on the goal (victory). According to researchers at the Institute for the Study of Youth Sports at Michigan State University, kids who participate in organized sports do better in school, have better interpersonal skills, are more team oriented, and are generally healthier.

Sports teaches perseverance and tenacity: “It's a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired - you quit when the gorilla is tired.” Robert Strauss, actor.

Stress relief through constructive expenditure of energy through sport is another beneficial effect of exercise. Exercise causes the release of dopamine in the brain which gives a sense of excitement and immediate pleasure, and sustained physical activity causes the release of endorphins which can produce the feeling of well-being and euphoria. Sports is a good outlet for the stresses and strains of modern life, a wonderful balance of recreation and healthy physical activity.

Sports even helps with maths for kids… unless you are Yogi Bera, a Major League baseball player for the New York Yankees: “Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.”

So for us parents, most of whom do not have a budding Tiger Woods, Nicol David, Michael Phelps or Kaka on the back burner, let us see sports for the gem it is, a versatile, expansive and healthy source of a multitude of opportunities for our children to grow as persons of character, enjoying it all the way!

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Nowadays, when M walks onto the court in his skinny preadolescent frame to play in the men’s league, it looks like a David and Goliath match, without the legendary David victory. But the writings are on the wall that not too long off now, it will not be he who will be struggling to keep up. But that is the way of kids - their wonderful capacity to develop new strengths, be they physical, psychological, intellectual, or in their character. To play the child six months later can be like playing a completely different person.

For, M, he continues to challenge his mother. “Soon, Mum, soon.”

She replies blandly, “Any day, son, any day.” The mother in her looks forward to the day. The competitor…well, that’s another story.



Audrey is the Editor of Family Tone and an avid squash player.

1. Cardiovascular Benefits Of Daily Exercise In School Children Are Evident Even After One Year ScienceDaily (May 10, 2009)